My True Testimony: When I was a young child I was not brought up or raised in church. I had no understanding of the existence of God or anything like that. I went through a lot of hard times with my childhood and lack of family and supervision. I was on my own a lot and at one point called out to a distant God who I knew nothing of. I was alone with my mother in another room. She was in danger and I had an image of her in my mind, lying on the floor dead the following morning. I thought if I were to just ignore the violent setting, I would wake up to no longer have a mother. I called out to Jesus for the first time in my life. At first I said, “God please help,” and I was crying in my room on the floor. There was yelling the background when I said, “Jesus please help” and at the INSTANT I said that word “Jesus” dead silence fell upon my home. It was an odd situation for me to be in -- as things so drastically changed the instant I said that word. I quietly looked around the corner out of my room. My mother came up to me and was suddenly calm, at peace and totally fine. She told me not to worry everything is fine and to go to sleep. She was no longer intoxicated. I was safe and so was she. That was the first of a series of life-changing events that God brought me through. I admire people who can live life with such faith that no outward signs or miracles are needed to keep their faith strong. But, I needed that to make me understand in the reality of God and the fact that there was a savior.
Life continued on in the unstable environment in which I lived. When I was fourteen I was spending all my time with friends whose parents were drug dealers, the friends were into witchcraft and things were going downhill for me rapidly. I planned to run away and hop on the train behind my home. I was ready to leave, but something happened that CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER.
Feel Free to Watch the Video Version of the Testimony. Or, skip the video and continue reading it below.
Over Christmas time in 1996, I went to my Aunt Barbara’s home in Las Vegas, Nevada. I was 14-years-old. My aunt owned a Christian book store and she needed helping conducting yearly inventory for the store. She paid for me to go there and to do the work, and I needed the money and the time away. When I was there, she didn’t try to “convert” me or anything like that. But, I started to become curious and ask her questions. I was very child-like in my questions and approach, as all the terminology related to it was foreign to me. I even remember asking her what the word “repent” meant and I was excited to understand more about God. She gave me my first Bible -- along with a stack of other books that I read. She told her friend that I was like a sponge, trying to soak up everything I could. I left Las Vegas and flew back to Wisconsin. My first night back, everyone was asleep upstairs in the townhouse. I was downstairs, sitting on the couch, with a large stack ofbooks piled up next to me. It was New Year’s Eve and I was reading and creating a bracelet on an Indian bead-weaving loom I got for Christmas.
I picked up one of my books (although the name is really irrelevant, it was called “Pray it again Sam”) and I read some of it. It had some type of prayer or meditation that it asked the reader to do. For the second time in my entire life (or first official time) I prayed. I clasped my hands together and was about to pray or did begin to pray, but not out loud.
IMMEDIATELY God came to me at 1:13 am on January 1st of 1997 -- before words could even exit my mouth in prayer. The situation was more real to me than anything I have ever experienced in my entire life. God came to me, or allowed me to KNOW that he was REAL and that He LOVED me. No words needed to be spoken, as I could feel each and every message through my entire being. I was crying a cleansing cry, that didn’t stop throughout the whole experience. I felt the most incredible love, the most incredible and indescribable peace and joy I have ever known. I NEVER knew that God was real before that day. Every horrible experience and everything that I had endured as a young child and things I had done to hurt others -- it was all wiped clean. I felt, for a brief moment -- all of those things. I felt all of the things I had done to hurt others; all the lies I told and all the things I had done. In another instant I felt JESUS -- specifically felt JESUS forgive me of all the sins. I cried more and more for the fact that I was happy to be free from it all.
I looked at the clock at some point in the situation (or right before I prayed) so I knew it was 1:13 am. After that, and through what happened, I felt NO TIME and NO SENSE OF TIME or anything of the sort. I felt a taste of boundless and endless and timeless peace and love. It was something I had never known before from anyone or anything. That day, God gave me a gift that I cannot properly describe even if I try (which I am trying to do! LOL). God gave me life and innocence that would have been forever lost.
God taught me of true love and how to love for others and FORGIVE. God saved my life that day -- and it really is the day my life began. I was a new person. Everyone knew something miraculous had happened and how drastically I had changed. God gave me an awareness (self awareness) like nothing I had ever experienced before. I felt God’s presence with me and alongside me through my daily tasks, cleaning and interactions. I was painfully aware of what I said and did, and became bluntly honest as a result.
So, if you are ever in a situation where you feel desperate, confused or don’t understand what to do -- just call out to God. If you are feeling empty inside, bored with life, lost, unloved or any other form of discontentment, I think it is a direct result of missing the most important part of your life: God. It is unnatural to separate yourself from the one who created you and loves you.
“Then you will call, and the LORD will answer. You will cry for help and He will say Here I am.” Isaiah 58:9
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I heard your dream on the You Tube. I presently teach the Bible at Sacred Heart Church in Roggen, CO. I also am writing a book on Revelations. I can give you some things about your dream on locusts, but by now you may already have the answers. I will try to send you something in the next two weeks.
Leo
Hi Leo – thank you. If you have any advice or thoughts on what the meanings of the dreams are, I would love to hear it and appreciate it.
Thank you!
I heard your testimony on utube.
I want to share what happened on Tuesday feb 19, 2010
It still gives me chills every time I think of it. I was at prayers that night. I had my head bow because I was relaxing my mind for prayer.
I was in the zone. I did not hear the service at all from beginning to end. I can still feel it/smell it/enjoy it.
I was in a valley the sky was clear and blue (so beautiful words can not really describe it) The grass was green and soft to the touch and I did not have shoes (I do not like to walk in the grass with out my shoes) I feel that Jesus was with me. A man dressed in white.with the face of peace (like u can just sit with him forever) I wanted to speak to him but he said “be still my daughter and sit here next to me”.(tears come to my eyes as I can see it all over again) I have never felt this peace before. I laughed and cried and did not want it to end. At one point I remember my sister in christ sitting next to me and started praying for me. The only thing I remember was saying to him I will be back. I remeber looking at her with tears in my eyes and said I do not want you to pray for me I want to go back. I remember her saying go. With that I was gone again.
I remember once the service was over I was so at peace and just got up and left.
I will never forget that feeling or what I went through.
I wish I could have captured it on video but my memories would have to do.
Please share with me want u think happened in ur words…..
Hi.
I really appreciated reading about your testimony, and hearing you on youtube. It is refreshing to hear a point of view such as yours. I do know where you are coming from when you mentioned the un-easy feelings in some revivals. I did missionary work and have been around a lot of brother christians. And I really believe that all those signs mentioned in the bible are real for I have experienced some amazing encouters with God ,where I really heard Him or felt him showing a direction that led me in a transe for days. However I also know that you cannot force that onto God. It is a very real, unique and private relationship between us and the creator.
One quick anecdote if you will, was when I first landed in Los Angeles to pursue my acting career. Fresh out of the plane, I had only one phone number to call but never to this day got an answer. With nowhere to go and no one to call I left messages at motels where I hoped there was a room for me. The idea of sleeping in the airport did not excite me that much. At that specific time, I heard God’s voice, murmure… it is hard to describe as it is something audible, but not with your ears, if that makes any sense. I just knew God was telling me to wait until 7:15pm, by the airport phone booth. 7:15 that’s what He said. So I waited for some time there wondering somewhat if I was not going mad.
So the phone rang. MY phone booth rang, the one I was sitting by, making sure no one else would grab it. I remember looking at my watch, pointing exactly 7:15pm.. And on the other end was a gentleman telling me he had a room for me for the night. I could not believe that our God would be so clear with me… And that’s one of them….
Amen
Good night.
JP
I really need an answer to my unresolved questions.I am not a Christian but eversince I accidentally touched the bible and began reading it from my friend’s house,everything changed.I was reading on the chapter who god is really and suddenly a strong gust of wind and rain followed through.It was a very humid weather so the heavy rain was unexpected.After few weeks,I started dreaming og Jesus face in the clouds.I could see his face clearly.Apart from my dreams,when I went out with my friends and told myself I am not going to think of Jesus.I saw signs of him everywhere.I saw Jesus cds everywhere that too in an indian shop,which was so weird.And then we went to a restaurant to eat and of all places,I had to sit in front of a Jesus photo.It is just weird.I still didn’t get an answer as to why Jesus kept appearing everywhere.I felt so frustrated that I began disbelieving in Jesus.Then,i had a dream one night.I was in a very crowded place,like a fair,there were roller coasters n all,n suddenly there was a red carpet n Jesus stood far wearing a white robe.Suddenly,I was in the middle of the red carpet and it was me and jesus standing few metres apart.I stood quietly not wanting to look at Jesus.Then,a very weird thing occured.Jesus walked into my direction and hold a cross necklace on his hand.He came nearer and nearer and I shouted ‘I don’t want to be with you.Go away’.And,he threw the necklace in the air and the next moment,the cross necklace was on my neck.Jesus then smiled and walked away.I really am dersperate to know what’s going on in my life.If Jesus is really there,why isn’t he telling me anything?